And when I ask myself If this was all worth it And if I didn't go too far I really have no idea You used to only have those perfect images of models On billboards, television and in papers Most of your daily interactions used to be with real people But when I look at myself, most of my daily interactions with people Happen on social media Where I'm constantly surrounded by pictures of People with a perfectly trained body and so called perfect lives Who look very happy and Eventhough I should know better Subconsciously I compare myself constantly with others And then I started wondering how much effort it would really take To have one of those perfect bodies and maintain it And are you then capable To lead a happier life than someone like me who just hangs in his livingroom For 3 months I want to have the strict training and diet plan of a male underwear model.

And subsequently pose for a real photoshoot I want to know how it feels to lead my life like this And share everything with you No filters, no glamour photo's, not just the benefits But my real state of happiness throughout this process So when I stand there as a perfect happy little boy Am I just that? And instead of a few pictures that will promote a negative selfimage I want to be honest and transparent.

And show you all the necessary steps To become a male underwear model I'm curious what's gonna happen and how I'm gonna feel.


Let's start Okay, where do we start.


No more sugar, no more bad fats and no more salt This means no pizza's, no chips, no chocolate and no candy But what CAN I eat? Oatmeal, sweet potato, rice, protein powder, nuts, chicken, beef and vegetables.

Food in this process is extremely important But I do have to get of my lazy ass and into the gym At the beginning we took pictures And everything was precisely measured from weight to size.

So I could do this under professional supervision It was pretty heavy, but I had to go to the gym 3 times a week I felt good and energetic It was not so hard to maintain You ready buddie? Let's go And then I had to go to the gym 5 times a week I instantly noticed How it was more difficult to combine with my regular life You have to take that into account (Businesspartner and friend) I see Peter daily ofcourse And I noticed him becoming isolate He stopped coming with to social things No more eating out And when he did come with, he would bring trays Gross and dry chicken that he didn't even like himself I'm in the car with Jasper to the set for work But during the day I still have to keep my diet in check With dry boiled chicken And a protein shake and it tastes so bad honestly It doens't make me happy.

Let's keep it at that.

And then I went to the gym 7 times a week Mentally, I was pretty absent I could only think about my physique And I could thinks straight But it did have an impact on the way we did business.

How we used to work It was pretty heavy to see That you can see someone change so much And the huge amout of food a day didn't make it easier I work as a director And I have to direct 2 full days from dusk till dawn Which can be challenging Okay, are we ready? The catering makes it so much harder With all the delicous fastfood I wanted to know how hard it was and I found out how hard it is to live this lifestyle Two weeks before the shoot and guess what? We're going to the gym twice a day All my energy went into going to the gym You noticed instantly that the things that made Peter, Peter Decreased significantly and were less intense So you could say that He was a numbed version of himself And ontop of that I had to drink 6 liters of water a day And I also had to quit eating carbs So my body would start buring fat This is day 1 without carbs, just protein I eat half of what I would normally eat Training twice a day I feel drowsy And that will get worse in the coming days I think it's going to be heavy For people how don't know what carbs are Carbs give you all your fast energy No carbs can cause thinhs like this Good evening It's been a little bit longer without carbs I really notice how extremely hard this is At night I'm extremely hungry I can't wait to enjoy eating carbs again So I just have more energy again now I'm very low level I just really want to eat something delicous I must really resist the temptation Peter and I had a pretty important meeting with Endemol I was pretty well prepared and Peter aswell.

But you could just notice half way through the meeting He just crashed He was almost like a lifeless blob of nothing at the meeting It was so bad that I really started To feel ashamed of him And you could notice others at the meeting thinking What is this guy even doing? And a few days later we would start filming You could see everybody thinking This guy just isn't ready for filming How is he gonna direct? In 4 days What also sucks is I really notice I'm less active on social media I don't have my head on straight.

I really lost my focus And I start to wonder if I really was a model Would I want to be this skinny for every shoot Would I really want to go through this again? I have respect for models who do this I have looked in the mirror a thousand times last 3 months Is this okay? Is that okay? Does this fat still have to go? It's weird how you constantly look at yourself And social media constantly remind you How someone perfect should look If you look good or look bad And you think, this is fat And this is fat And I ask myself Did I do enough? Because I can't see it anymore And than you have to take a picture in your underwear 24 hours before the shoot I had to stop drinking water This is the last day drinking 6 liters of water This is my last glass Because tomorrow I can't have any I can make my mouth wet with a little water But this is so all the liquids leave my body And I will become super dry I want to have the shoot so bad Not for the posing and the picture, but so it's finally over Oh my god, what did I do to myself You have to realise I've got a lot of discipline For 3 months I didn't touch a single snack Thanks, too bad No, no, no, I'm almost there! Pizza man! Delicious pizza man! I can't even remember the taste of like a hamburger So I'm not really craving it.

I'm really craving to feel normal again.

And this has been extreme Let's hope the pictures are pretty Two trainings left tomorrow.

The last day So I'm really enjoying this water because tomorrow I'm gonna die Finally it was the day of the shoot Look out for cyclists It's time Quin It's the day The big finish Yes boy! I was super violent this morning that I even kicked a box.

Of exhaustion or? I didn't sleep for 3 days and I didn't have any water so I was uncomfortable You can only think about water You can only make your mouth wet You are emotionally so wrecked that you aren't the person you recognise anymore I mean, have you ever seen me agressive or frustrated? Never It's really hard to judge yourself I'm tense, I trained for 3 months I went through so much stuff and it all feels like a blur.

Autopilot Training, eating Training, eating I found out myself When you have a good body and are a model Your whole life revolves around the physique The body has become such an abstract thing for me I don't even think I look good I can only see where there is still fat And where is still need muscle And where there is still liquid.

It's biological And than I will have made the picture That I couldn't understand Now I know what it takes And how I feel.

And that is very valuable to me I don't even know what I'm doing anymore I don't know what this body is The more time I spend on this the emptier I become I really hope I can open people's eyes with this picture How It really is at the shoot an what I gave up Make people realise Don't feel bad if you don't have it You have a normal life with priorities That's all I want to change I don't want people to dislike models I want them to realise it's beautiful, but a job So don't feel bad if you don't have it That's really nice I also constantly goes through my head My perception of bodies has really changed I would call a normal girl in my class a little bit heavier for example Exactly I have been brainwashed And you aswell than You're right Dante! Could you maybe explain why I have to eat this Snickers just before the shoot Basically it's for your energy It fills more glycogen in your muscles So that we can get more size I actually thought I would enjoy the Snickers more, but I'm just looking forward to drink water you know You''ll have your water afterwards I just remember standing there and feeling empty I mean, I was so dehydrated You can only think about water And food and about Living a normal life agian Not only thinking about your physique This feels so crooked how we arteficially Want to invoke emotions that are so far removed from reality All tricks to create an image that will make you feel like it is perfect I really don't know The funny thing is when I look at this picture The first thing I think is Who is this guy.

I don't even recognise myself.

I look way older I almost look like a man And I feel like a little boy Those insecurities keep existing If you have a trained body and a nice picture of not I don't notice the difference I'm really proud of my discipline I was so obsessed By the figures and numbers I did exactly what the trainer said and what the tricks were I never cut corners I did this in 3 months and I'm glad there was an end date.

It scares me what I would have done if there wasn't It really fucks you up in your mind It's has to be perfect I don't want people to look al my picture and think This guy's got it all figured out.

I wanna be like him You just have to be happy with who you are Everybody can do this What I did but You have to make sacrifices This is a counter movement of social media where only good looking appearances coount Looking good gives a lot of likes Those likes don't make you happy No, and I already started this on my Instagram Being more vulnerable and real By telling people I also don't always feel great I'm also feel alone and insecure Our moments of failure, pain and sadness Aren't shared on social media Because oh no, don't let people know I'm unhappy Oh no, don't let people know I'm depressed Our perception is That, that is the goodlife My advice is don't focus so much on appearances you want to achieve And don't subconsiously or counsiously Let yourself get influenced by that And that you have young kids that don't realise yet If their worldview only consists of Perfect snapshots of peoples lives They will think their lives have to be that way And that's fucked up It didn't make me happier.

Mentally it was even a step back I have to find the balance again of a normal life I have to admit now that I have water again I feel fine I feel that I can be happy again now I don't have to worry about my looks Constantly thinking about meeting requirements is what made me the most unhappy And happiness is a mindset Again, perfection is perception For me it's perfect if you feel good And do the things you like And if fitness is what you like, fine But if you have a regular life with a job And don't want to be in a gym constantly and don't want to diet that is also fine and perfect.